Talking to your future children about third party reproduction and where they came from can be a difficult conversation if its not approached properly. To be clear, Fertility Match holds firm in its belief that all donor-conceived children should know the truth from an early age and should be given the ability to choose for themselves when they’re older whether to meet their egg donor. They may choose not to, but they should have a choice.
At Fertility Match we’ve put together this list of books that can help you talk to your children about their history. We’ve also included some resources for you and hope that these help you make decisions that are right for your child. During your journey with us, we are here to guide you through research and decisions such as this.
For Your Kids
About Egg Donation
One More Giraffe (2009) Author: Kim Noble, Illustrator: Stephanie Gibson Ages: 1-3 Reading this book to your child will help you begin to introduce the key concepts about babies and egg- donation.
Tabitha and Timothy Grow a Flower (2010) Author: Sarah Shackleton, Illustrator: Gillian Coulson Ages: 2-5 A simple story explaining the concept of egg donation to a young child. It is a starter book on the subject of third party reproduction.
A Bun in the Oven: The Story of Conception Via Donor Egg (2011) Author: Anita Stokes, Illustrator: Red Ages: 2-5 Available directly from author: firstname.lastname@example.org
A Tiny Itsy Bitsy Gift of Life: An Egg Donor Story (2009) Author: Carmen Martinez-Jover, Illustrator: Rosemary Martinez Ages: 2-5 A touching children’s egg donor story.
Our Story – For Children Conceived Through Egg Donation in Heterosexual Couple Families (2002) Author: Donor Conception Network Ages: 2-5 A story of a family who used egg donation to have a child.
Mommy Was Your Tummy big? (2007) Author/Illustrator: Catherine Nadel Ages: 2-5 A mother elephant explains her use of donor eggs to her child. With charming illustrations and simple words, this book can help parents who used in vitro fertilization and donor eggs begin to explain the process to their small children.
A Part Was Given and an Angel Was Born (2002) Author/Illustrator: Rozanne Nathalie Ages: 2-5 This book creates a means by which communication about egg donation can begin. In a simplistic manner, the book provides a vehicle for introducing this form of third party parenting to their child.
Phoebe’s Family: A Story About Egg Donation (2010) Author: Linda Stamm, Ph.D., Illustrator: Joann Clipp Ages: 2-5 Phoebe’s mom tells her the wonderful and unique story of how she came into being through egg donation to a heterosexual couple.
The Pea That Was Me: An Egg Donation Story (2012) Author/Illustrator: Kimberly Kluger-Bell Ages: 4-8 Introduces young children to the idea that a generous egg donor (along with a doctor and their parents) helped to bring them into the world and into their loving family.
The Very Special Ducklings: (A Very Simple Story About Egg Donation) (2005) Author: Wava Cirisan, Illustrator: Stella Schultze Ages: 3-8 This story is for very young children but introduces the concept of egg and embryo donation in a simple way. What is interesting is that it does not discuss the father duckling’s role in the decision to receive or donate eggs but highlights the mother duck’s.
A Very Special Lady: A Story About IVF, an Egg Donor and a Little Girl (2012) Author: Nell Carswell, Illustrator: Sarah Merrigan. Ages: 2-5 This is a story about IVF, an egg donor and the arrival of a baby girl.
Sometimes it Takes Three to Make a Baby: Explaining Egg Donor Conception to Young Children (2002) Author: Kate Bourne, Illustrator: Don Thompson. Ages: 3-9 Written by an infertility counselor, this is the story of a mum and dad who tried very hard to have a baby and couldn’t.
A Most Precious Gift: A Story of Egg Donation (2009) Author: Kerry Roling Ages: 3-9 Told in rhyme, this blank-page book created to “support a child to draw their own illustrations or attach photographs,” is a long poem that tells the story of a fairy godmother who donated her egg so that another couple could have a child.
Mom and Dad and the Journey They Had (2010) Author: Molly Summer, Illustrator: Monica Meza Ages: 4-9 The Thompson home is bustling with excitement because soon they will be welcoming a new baby into their family and Patrick will be a big brother for the very first time! As they are preparing the house, Patrick asks his parents to tell him about when he was a baby. They tell him about the incredible journey they took to have him, with the help of an egg donor.
Mommy, Did I Grow in Your Tummy? : Where Some Babies Come From (2011) Author: Elaine R Gordon, Illustrator: Kathy Clo Ages: 5-12 Written by a clinical psychologist who experienced infertility herself, this book is designed to start conversations. This beautifully illustrated story is about Sandy and Bob who, after trying very hard to have a baby, go to a doctor for help. They learn that they can make a baby “another way.” The book explains all of ways a baby can be made.
To Help You Talk to Your Teen
Telling and Talking about Donor Conception with 12-16 year olds: A Guide for Parents (2006) Author: Olivia Montuschi Published by Donor Conception Network (UK)
Telling and Talking About Donor Conception With People Aged 17 and Over: A Guide for Parents (2006) Author: Olivia Montuschi Published by Donor Conception Network (UK)
Who Am I? : Experiences of Donor Conception (2006) Author: Alexina McWhinnie Publisher: Idreos Education Trust Three adult offspring conceived by donor insemination share their experiences. Dr Alexina McWhinnie, a social researcher who has worked extensively in the area of assisted conception, reflects further on their stories and those of other donor-conceived adults.
Experiences of Donor Conception: Parents, Offspring and Donors Through the Years (2002) Author: Carol Lorbach Publisher: Jessica Kingley Voices of Donor Conception (Volume 1).
Behind Closed Doors: Moving Beyond Secrecy and Shame. (2006) Authors: Kirk Maxey, Olivia Montuschi, Rebecca Hamilton, Wendy Kramer, Ryan Kramer Editor: Mikki Morrissette This is the first volume in this collection of real stories about people affected by the donor conception industry. It includes first-person essays designed to take some of the stigma out of donor conception and enable more open conversation for families affected by donor insemination.
Cookies and Cake & The Families We Make (2011) Author: Jennifer L. Egan, Illustrator: Robin Gulak Ages: 4-8 The author uses the metaphor of the different cakes and cookies we can bake to help young readers respect, accept and welcome diversity.
What Makes a Baby (2012) Author: Cory Silverberg, Illustrator: Fiona Smyth Ages: 3-8 A modern picture book about where babies come for every kind of family and every kind of kid.
What Matters Most: A Children’s Book of Families (2008) Author/Illustrator: Kristin Carter Ages: 4-8 This story is narrated through the eyes of a four- year-old girl living with her single dad.
Birds of a Different Feather (2011) Author: Kelly Wendel Ages: 4-8 This book speaks directly to families comprised of members with differing genetic backgrounds such as adoptive and foster families, blended families with step and half siblings, and families using AHR.
I Love My Family: A Book about Assisted Conception for Young Children (2011) Author: Tammy Troute-Wood, Editor: Heather Cobb, Illustrator: Brent Patrick Gough Ages: 3-5 Assists families to discuss assisted conception (including IVF, egg donor, sperm donor, and surrogacy) with children 3 to 5 years old.
Before You Were Born: Our Wish for a Baby (2004) Author: Janice Grimes, Illustrator: Mary Moye-Rowley Ages: 3-5 Each book in this series presents a different conception story. Written by a nurse, this is the story of a baby bear that loves to hear the story of how he was born. Excellent illustrations.
Recipes of How Babies are Made (2007) Author: Carmen Martinez Jover, Illustrator: Rosemary Martinez Ages 4-8 Explains in a very simple way all the different methods used to conceive children nowadays. This story helps parents share the many ways that children can be born into a family. It is set in a heterosexual context. It’s through the illustrations that children can easily visualize all these different methods and understand them in a simple and natural way including egg donation, sperm donation, embryo donation, surrogacy and adoption.
Choosing to be Open about Donor Conception: Experiences of Parents (2002) Authors: Sharon Pettle and Jan Burns Booklet for parents available through Donor Conception Network, UK
Helping the Stork: The Choices of Donor Insemination (1997) Authors: Carol Frost Vercollone, MSW, Heidi Moss, MSW, and Robert Moss, Ph.D Publisher: Wiley
Experiences of Donor Conception: Parents, Offspring and Donors throughout the Years (2009) Author: Caroline Lorbach Publisher: Jessica Kingsley
The Complete Lesbian & Gay Parenting Guide (2004) Author: Arlene Istar Lev, CSW Publisher: Berkley Publishing Group
The Lesbian Parenting Book: A Guide to Creating Families and Raising Children (2003) Author: Dr. Merilee Clunis Publisher: Seal Press
Mommies, Daddies, Donors, Surrogates: Answering Tough Questions and Building Strong Families. (2005) Author: Diane Ehrensaft, Ph.D Publisher: Guildford Press
Choosing Single Motherhood: The Thinking Woman’s Guide (2005) Author: Mikki Morrissette “Telling and Talking” Series (2006) Author: Olivia Montuschi Produced by the The Donor Conception Network
‘Our Family: A telling and talking guide for friends and relatives’ (2013) Author: Olivia Montuschi Produced by the Donor Conception Network